Welcome to our brand new blog about caring for children with FASD. Why a new blog? Because after working as a social worker for the past 20 years, and fostering two little boys for the past 3 1/2 years, I've come to realize that many of us are managing in isolation.
Since L's birth in July 2011, we have had 7 social workers from two different child protection agencies, and a number of different service providers. Despite all of these professionals, no one has really helped us figure out how to get a diagnosis or manage the boys symptoms in a realistic manner.
Our fostering story is for another day but in chatting to other caregivers, I realized we are not alone. The most support I've received is from on-line FASD caregivers groups and not the professionals.
As a professional, this saddens me. So I began to pay more attention to the conversations going on around me in the office. I've worked in child protection for the past 17 years and have hardly given a thought to Fetal Alcohol except to shudder and shrug my shoulders until the boys came to be placed with me. That is an awful thing to admit, but it's totally true. And I hear the words "fetal alcohol" thrown about by the social workers but I don't hear much more than that. Just a shrug and a "you know"...and I believe it's because we don't know what to do or how to help families manage children with this disorder.
Looking back, I'm beyond embarrassed at the interventions and suggestions I've provided to caregivers who have children with varying degrees of Fetal Alcohol. Sticker charts, reward systems, behaviour modification....blah, blah, blah. In having the boys and learning that these things don't work for children with prenatal brain damage (because that's what FASD is), I could hang my head with shame. Not only did I provide the wrong interventions, I didn't even give thought to having the children assessed for FASD so they continued to go undiagnosed and unserviced.
And this is exactly what I've experienced as the foster parent of L and A. L is 3 and A is 2, having been born 12 months after L. A was drug tested at birth but L was not. A's test was positive for alcohol. Their mother has recently admitted to daily alcohol use during both pregnancies however, this hasn't changed much for the boys. I can't even imagine what kind of courage it took to admit this and she has my deep respect for doing so. The service providers and agency doctor refuse to diagnose despite all of the above information and the boys remain unserviced and undiagnosed.
As a result, I've spent a lot of time on the internet trying to find some consistent ideas for parenting and interventions. And that's the thought behind this blog. I'll share our story, you share yours, and we can all work together to muddle through. Because these kids are so worth it.
Please follow us and check in frequently for updates and new information. Contact me directly at parentingchildrenwithfasd@gmail.com to connect or share your stories and feedback.
Linking to Foster2forever, Imparting Grace, and From My Front Porch to Yours,
